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03/23/12

Wow i am sorry to hear about your son. I have seen a lot of programs on how canada and other places basically supply addicts with clean needles and a safe place to do their thing. It really gets me on how some people can actually do something like that to themselves.

Now about me. I am 30 years old, i have a handicapped tag (at 30) because i was in two car accidents that were not my fault. one of them i was very lucky, .02 seconds later and the tree would have crushed me, instead it crushed the car in two feet right behind me at 40MPH. I am currently in pain management and have had to take meds since 2004. My neck is messed up bad which i have a constant headache and neck ache. It hurts so bad several times a month enough where i throw up all day long, can't hold down my meds, and wish i were dead really. Im my state there is no medical marijuana and i will tell you it helps for nausea. I used to party in high school etc and never was addicted to pot and dropped cocaine in an instant in 1999. Now my lower back is so messed up i can barely walk some days, hence the handicapped tag. Since i have been hurt i have never abused my meds and really wish i didn't have to take them and had my life back, like having season tickets to the Georgia Football games. I have two little girls that without my meds i wouldn't be able to keep up with. It honestly gives me a shot at being normal. Sadly programs like this one and others make everyone think i ma a criminal. It sucks going into a pharmacy and being looked at like i killed someone, or i get lied to by the pharmacist about my meds not being in stock because i look younger than 30. As of right now i have a prescription that i haven't been able to fill in almost two weeks. Around here it seems the people who don't need it, make a living off it can get theirs to sell and then i'm stuck trying to figure out what to do. It's also hard to keep a job like this, as soon as anyone finds out it goes up the ladder and they don't want you to be around long enough to get insurance or FMLA. ok enough of that.

I will say i have had many friends who snort the meds i get who think i am lucky to get a prescription. Or they beg you and make you feel bad because you won't share with them for their habit. Or someone steals my meds. I have had a lock box stolen, someone came into my home(my neighbor) and took a weeks worth of my meds, even when dating i have to be careful because they will be my best friend thinking i will share. Well i won't. It makes me sick seeing people abuse pain meds that people actually need. I have helped a couple of my friends quit and not ruin their lives or families but others can't be helped even when they lose everything. So i can relate to what you are saying. Nobody i know has gone to heroin, most chose methadone or something else.

I can say since i know people who used to get high off meds that the only way this happens if they snort them, smoke them, or shoot them up. If properly taken it relieves pain. There is no high, there is no massive addiction. You may become dependent, but that is determined by how long you really have to take the meds. I wish i didn't have to take them, but atleast i have somewhat of a life. Because of all these scare tactics the doctors in my state are wanting to change everything, which i fear may turn out horrible.

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